MidnightRealism's Profile

Tom Glennon was born of nothing in the outer regions of the universe more than four billion years ago, willing himself into existence.  He elected to fill the galaxy with glorious stars and planets because it was really dark and boring but put all his energy into one particular orb, calling it the Tom.  He waited until just a few thousand years ago to fill the Tom with land, water, fossils of fictional beasts to confound the wise, and life, beautiful life.  He made the continents haul ass across the oceans to get where they are today just to prove that those ricer shits in the future weren't as big as him and that he had their fucking number.  He thought about putting rims on them too but in his wisdom and mercy elected to refrain.  He allowed humanity to subjugate the Tom, forming it as they willed, but eventually they forgot the Tom's original name and took to calling it Earth.  They forgot even Tom Glennon, turning to false gods like the PlayStation 2 or $400 basketball shoes.  Eventually Tom Glennon shall return to the Tom and unite humanity as one, and then smash a giant bowling ball through the one and watch them scatter like so many pins.  It will be an epic event and when it happens you guys should get there, because there will be pizza served and the first hundred get a great T-shirt.  Thus has it been, thus shall it be.